training in the acquisition of bowel control (so fashionable today in nursery and other schools) is the result of a process of "normalization", a kind of convention that adopted as socially valid, and that fits well with the interests especially of the institutions.
As in any maturing process, a wide variability. For example, in language development (another self-regulatory process), the age range considered normal for the beginning of language ranges from 10-11 months to 3-4 years. That is, that children who start talking at 10 months as those starting at age three and a half, are normal children, healthy and intelligent. Language development in identical stimulus conditions can vary greatly from child to child, depending on how he matures central nervous system.
The same applies to motor development (another self-regulatory process) There are children who walk at 9 months of age, while others do not start walking until 20 months. Both groups are considered normal.
with sphincter control, food and sleep is the same. There are babies that pee and asked 12 months do not ask others to three years. Children who sleep quite often from very young and others who do not change their pattern at night until two or three years. Children who eat solids without teeth and others who suck up to four years.
society in which we live is tricky. The incorporation of women into the workplace has launched the phenomenon of child care and schooling to age very early (3 years) in classes where they have to care for children by the score. In these circumstances it is very difficult (it would be very expensive) respected the individual needs of each child: for educational institutions, is more practical to treat them all equally, unify the maximum daily routines and processes of children. Everyone has to eat at the same time, peeing in the toilet and take a nap at the time and without assistance. That is, the highly autonomous system needs children, because there is no other way to serve them while mom and dad work.
This reality has been drifting in recent years a kind standardization of "age" to acquire control of certain processes, particularly the issue of the diaper is set at two years.
Usually when we talk about self-regulation, we talk about respect. Respect for the child processes and the natural rhythms. The opposite of this respect is pressure, that is, that whatever force is going to happen anyway. In general, parents pushing children in this regard are being pressured to turn the environment: the school, daycare, family, friends and even some media. The training usually is motivated by the need for parents of a child enter as soon as possible "social". This pressure would make sense if we were talking about processes that take years to normalize for themselves .. but we are talking about a difference of months in late cases (in many cases, control is earlier than expected, naturally).
I will provide some data on children (provided by Dr. Francisco Gilo Valley) to see better how this happens physical:
In infants, spontaneous urination is due to a spinal reflex. As the bladder distends will send impulses to the sacral micturition center and there comes a time when the reflex is activated cord, resulting in detrusor contraction and simultaneously relaxes the striated muscle sphincter. "
voiding or emptying of the bladder is a reflex controlled by the spinal cord and the sympathetic and parasympathetic nerves.
sympathetic stimulation causes the bladder to relax and contract the sphincter. Urethral orifices are closed, it contracts the internal sphincter.
parasympathetic stimulation relaxes the internal sphincter, stimulates the detrusor muscle and causes it to empty the bladder.
When the bladder is filled, the internal pressure that builds up tension receptors stimulates and provokes reflexive muscle contractions detrusor y surge la necesidad de la micción.
Los lactantes que no han desarrollado aún control voluntario sobre el esfínter uretral externo, orinan de manera automática cada vez que se les llena la vejiga .
A medida que el niño crece, va reduciendo progresivamente su frecuencia miccional y va adquiriendo un patrón miccional.
La función normal de la vejiga es la de almacenar orina y expulsarla por la uretra (conducto por donde sale la orina) en forma voluntaria. Esta función la logra por estar formada de músculo, tejidos elásticos y vasos sanguíneos. Estas fibras musculares y tejidos elásticos forman los esfínteres, que se encargan de abrir y cerrar la salida de la orina, para que be expelled by the contraction of bladder muscle.
For ages 1 to 2 years is an increase in storage capacity of urine (bladder capacity) in the bladder, and nervous system maturation. This allows the child, from this point, gradually acquiring the ability to realize that your bladder is full and need emptying with voiding (urination), which means acquiring the ability to start and finish urination and that is accomplished on a voluntary basis, through the gradual control of the cerebral cortex.
So, approximately 75 percent of children achieve bladder control at 3 years and 90 percent at 5, although the night control may take several more years. PSYCHOLOGICAL ASPECTS
sphincter control, moreover, depends not only physical maturation but also the psychological maturation and development of body scheme.
Around three years (up months, the month below), children begin to be able to draw a human form relatively coherent. The human figure drawing (with their feet, hands, head and eyes in place) is the projection of the notion they have of their own body. Until then, though adults we find it very difficult to understand, the child has a body schema quite diffuse.
About two-three years, several important things happen:
- The baby begins to realize that a person other than mom.
- The baby begins to verbalize how you feel, what's wrong, what hurts and where, if he is hungry or sleepy.
- The separation of mother is tied to a huge interest to explore and discover their environment beyond the frontier mother and baby. Begins to relate to their environment as an independent person.
- These developments will shape a new image of himself.
This leads to a re-elaboration of their body schema and a greater awareness of their processes and feelings físicas (dolor, por ejemplo).
- Comienza a comprender, por encima, los procesos de ingestión-evacuación. Se empieza a dar cuenta de que él es un ser individual, que incorpora cosas que vienen de fuera (alimento, relaciones con los demás, aprendizajes) y que también evacúa (excrementos, emociones negativas, generalmente en forma de rabietas).
Este darse cuenta, este descubrimiento, para el niño es fundamental. Coincide en el tiempo (porque el sistema nervioso es sabio), además, con el comienzo de la sensación de control de estas funciones, por lo que para el niño es un hecho asombroso el poder controlar a voluntad la evacuación.
Para el pequeño, the stools are still almost a part of himself. Until recently, the wet diaper and the rest of his body were the same thing. Now he realizes that, but the border is still recent.
So many kids are generating a lot of anguish use the toilet (they prefer the potty) to pee or poop, they do not know where they are going to stop your pee or poop, dear those parts of themselves which will to release. Little ones are very concerned about where they end their excrement and, when they finally dare to place them somewhere they consider "trustworthy", they love to watch and discuss how they are.
Therefore, it is important to allow them to go to pace in experimenting with these feelings of "detachment." Going too fast can cause them anxiety is not difficult to imagine. However, if we allow them to investigate and explore the issue at their own pace, you will find great pleasure in this and find it fascinating fact to pee and poop at will.
From this assumption, ie, considering the sphincter control as a maturing process, we can not be surprising or disturbing that our son, one day, return to ask or need their diapers. Few weeks may have gone to the bathroom or used the potty without problems but for whatever reason may suddenly have leaks again important, and our son can ask for a diaper because they are uncomfortable with wet, or we can suggest us the possibility of reuse. It is a setback, is a normal stage of development, which will give our child more confidence in both himself and us. In itself, it will be able to have controlled an area that is often posed as problematic in many situations ... in us, because it will accept whatever you decide to do with your body and its functions.
Thus, we have seen a maturing scheme that goes like this:
- Begin the process of individuation.
- are working on the body image and self-image.
- The child realizes that the waste is a part of himself is clear.
- The child begins to feel that they can control the disposal (thanks to the maturation of central nervous system and enhanced capacity of the bladder).
- The child begins to experiment with such control and will ensure that he does not think of anything to do pee and poop in the potty or the toilet (his body still intact)
- The child feels safe, their physiological development gives you more control and a more mature voiding pattern.
- The child decides to forgo diapers.
At this point, yes there are things you can do:
respect them the pace and the way the process is given in our children. Accept them as they are, with or without a diaper, wet or dry, without evaluating or judging if it's late, early, or not to remove or put the diaper ... whatever that is what our child decide. Allow
psychological maturity, encouraging his advances, his desire to be independent, encouraging him to gain autonomy in other areas of your life, etc. ..
Explain: when they begin to show interest, will explain where their droppings, what happens to them, how do animals, parents, other children, etc. .. After all, going calming anxieties all will wake up on the child during this process.
Make available: a toilet with a step and an adapter in case you want to use (or potty), comfortable clothing, diapers and pants or shorts. Make available is to report where everything is, not to force their use. It is important to know where everything is so that you can go slowly showing us what he wants at all times and to know what the range of possibilities that regard.
not impatient, many children want to leave the diaper spontaneously about two years, while others are not asking to three and a half or four. It's okay, everything is fine. If we uncomfortable with the situation, it is important to consider why we need for our son already has that control. Discover that our needs and concerns are the result of social pressure. But now that you really know when that control is acquired, we can be sure that our child does not pass anything odd or is delayed in any process.
However, if despite all this, there is a real requirement we can not "skip" if in school do not support our son in a diaper and has to go or yes because we work, and neither allowed to losses and we want or we can move to school every day to change and nobody will do for us, only I can give you a hint: flexibility. If we are to remove the diaper at some point and our son has not asked, you have enough time to go back every time we see necessary, we have several potties scattered around the house to avoid having to rush to the bathroom, We can make the diaper a few days and not others, a few hours and not to others, and they do not have to be always the same, you can take the diaper at home but put it when leaving home, which is more cumbersome for all and if we see it too ... let a few days or weeks and try again a little later. And always, accept that you can take time for que se produzca el control, y por ello, seguir respetando lo que vaya sucediendo y los sentimientos que en nuestro hijo vayan surgiendo.
Violeta Alcocer.
Agradecimientos: Nuria Otero.
Ilustración: Nathalie Choux.
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