Las experiencias durante la primera infancia conforman, eso lo sabemos todos ya, la estructura, el eje sobre el que se sustentan todos aquellos aspectos de la persona adulta.
Sabemos que los mensajes, los estilos, los vínculos.. lo que no es dado y sobre todo lo que no nos es dado, marcan de alguna manera lo que somos hoy. No tanto porque una infancia complicada determine una vida desgraciada (cosa que no creo), sino because the shaft we have is the starting point when shed some insight into ourselves, recognize and appreciate our resources and let us recognize and accompanied by our shortcomings.
Regardless of hugs, touch, words of love and good manners, there is a keynote address important but not always visible, which I believe is one of the most powerful messages that can give a child the early years.
This discourse does not speak with words, but rather with attitudes and actions (or lack thereof) specific, but his message is strong and durable, "You own your body," "Everything has its time and only one knows when that moment has arrived "" Every human being is different, you are unique and we recognize the uniqueness and value you as you are "" You are going to be responsible for the successes and mistakes of your life "" Connect with the person that you really do not do things to please others but not live outside the world "and so much more.
These messages are translated, more specifically, the fact of providing our children motivation to achieve, for decision-making, healthy self-esteem, self-concept consistent with reality and an open learning. And they are messages that permeate the depths because are part of a workout, or a manual, or a method ... but rather because they are special messages for each child, messages of love, appreciation and respect for their fundamental processes.
messages somehow recognize the greatness of human beings and their potential, contributing to the expression of that potential is not trying to pigeonhole, label or take in an appropriate "standard" even at the expense of losing its shine on the road but observing rather rescue, pointing, showing and guiding the child the best way to be himself in the world you live. Allowing it to be the owner himself, which is something. The triumph
the uniqueness of each individual and the formal uniform, in a society in which value increasingly autonomous persons, flexibility, initiative and personality .. but so incomprehensible that we educate by and for the absolute negation of creativity, subjectivity, feeling, authenticity and individual capacities.
Thus, from the various systems: medical, educational and family are still valued and encourage children, from birth, to "do what all" and "to be average." This means pull nonsense like sleeping at six months (and if not, apply a preventive method insomnia?), remove the breast before the year's pacifier before two, the diaper to the two sharp, clean your plate with three and a myriad of rules that have become "fashion" (and in some enforcement cases) and tacitly adopting families and families like the ABC of suitable education.
At school children can see how valued are those that do not move, do not speak, not out of line when they do color and all in good time and according to established patterns. If you touch math, but what the child is passionate about reading, nobody cares, because they touch math. Ultimately, it is more important to follow the standard to take advantage of windows that open every day in the child's interests and, in fact, predispose him to carry out more effective learning, creative, comprehensive and lasting tax.
not get me wrong, I do not intend to champion any anti-systemic revolution, this is not my spirit. Let's not even that desirable, in our society, lest our children have the ability to meet standards, that at some point stop using diapers, have emotional self, eat well and sleep like kings. This is because we want all that good personal and social adjustment are guaranteed at least some balance in life.
What I mean is that all these achievements, progress, mature, controls .... Are not and should never be a victory father, but rather individual achievements of the children themselves, since they own rhythms, their bodies belong to them and their abilities (and lack thereof) they belong.
Have you ever heard these phrases?: "I've taken my son's diaper" "I nap I took a year and a half" "I've gotten and the solids" "I think I will wean" We put to sleep in his room "" We will take away the pacifier on holiday "etc.
Do you realize that all, all, attribute the planning, control and success of such matured to parents? What are one-sided speeches, always in first person? Do you realize that the child has no choice in any case, to decide (either voluntarily or physiologically) if it is or is prepared to give those breaks to move from one stage to another? Eye, we spoke a few weeks, maybe a few months, waiting room for a child to "do" what is supposed to do for himself rather than "forced" or at best " carried away "by the will of their parents.
Vale, in the end all (or nearly all) reach the same things but .. Have they stopped to think about the speech that accompanies some cases, and others? In all cases where they were the parents who "decided" by the child unilaterally, the message reads "I decide for you, this is my business."
In those cases where the child is allowed to self-management of their maturing process, the message is "You notify us, implicitly or explicitly when the time comes and we'll help you grow and achieve your goals."
And being as it is so very fundamental aspects for the formation of the individual psychic such as food, sleep, bowel and bladder control and learning (from learning to read to learn to swim) ... Who do you think the message is irrelevant or the forms? Who believes that no matter who has achieved things, who gets the medal? Who do you think does not influence the feeling valued and respected personal time on personal tastes, needs personal, personal difficulties? Violeta
Alcocer. Oil on canvas
: Valeria Ulman.
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