communicate is to share with the other what happens to us. Engage means to make the other "take part", which will not leave indifferent, your knowledge, who believes that he moved, to do something about it. Communication contact. The communication does not bring the other part, is a communication fails: falls in the category of information.
During childhood, when the human being depends on the participation of one another in their life (From their parents, in particular), we can imagine that communication mechanisms are quite sophisticated ... and changing, because they grow with the child and (hopefully) with parents.
As with so many things relating to family life, communication is also an action that is part of a dynamic. Thus, communication is something alive, vibrating, transforms, adapts and shapes depending on the interaction of its "stakeholders."
If you think that language is what the child learns about the years we are terribly wrong. The child speaks before birth, because there are so many languages \u200b\u200bas ways of communicating to other who we are, what we are, how we are.
If human beings do not possess the ability to communicate at the time of birth, would be doomed to death as they would be unable to participate in one of its existence. But fortunately, the baby is born is ready to let their parents (especially mother) a lot of things through sound, movement, body tension, physiological rhythms (one might say that a baby talk to the whole body) and of course, crying.
Of all the above is the cry the most powerful communicator and have the baby because it gets most response, it is normal that is established with "The Language" of the newborn and infant, with a capital.
But no less important is the "Body Language" since feelings as "hungry" "cold" pee or poop, which in newborn distressing cry so often used by the child older as a communication tool with all rules, as key words through which we really have access to deeper needs and still hardly nameable by the child.
The transition of the language of tears "to the" language words "is for children and their parents a difficult challenge because, parents, accustomed to tolerate and contain the tears of small, often unaware that they can show your child that" there are other ways to communicate. " Obviously, this transition can only be done when really the toddler begins to have available some ability to communicate your world with words of all fear disappears when we discover that the word communicates much more effective than crying.
The same applies to the aggression, along with crying, is another powerful communicator. To get what you want to show anger, to be above the other, to establish "contact" a massive body .. to communicate all that the child is beyond him, beyond poor impulse control, little has hands, feet and teeth. For a long time, aggression is the only way that the infant has to communicate their discomfort (broadly speaking), because the impulse control is complicated and it is sometimes wait longer than necessary.
assaulted the child certainly does because he feels that this is the "language" which can best express certain feelings. However, the attacks invade and violate the physical and emotional intimacy that receives and, therefore, seems quite reasonable to put them limit and do not give way to a type of link that desire itself is imposed on the other thanks to the power that violence.
And just as we should never subject a child through violence, verbal or physical .. we must not allow him to do with us or others. The violence is easily turned around and is a two-way route: if the child grows to exercise their aggression towards us and we'll tolerate, may tomorrow be it the adolescent or adult who is unable to say "enough" to aggression It is what we will have taught.
But tolerance does not mean no more violence at all: it is essential to provide the child other ways to express what is happening, help to grow other codes that we speak of himself and usher together new ways of telling things worse or express feelings, which certainly have every right in the world to be there (" You can feel what you feel, you have every right, but you can not express sticking ")
And many times it is not as important to point out alternative forms of aggression (also) as the parallel work together we can do to enjoy the language, the gesture (the caress, embrace) while to teach the child to take positive actions create a "positive chain reaction" as that attacks the opposite happens.
If the ratio of small to others is too "polarizing" negative, it seems imperative to help balance their actions by finding and pointing Parental that he can care for others, be generous, noble and terribly affectionate. And believe me: if we get to it, caught the "pegón" being all these other things in one day. Just a question of giving more value to the aggression and make part of the vocabulary we use to describe our child.
Development is, in part, an evolution of communication. Rarely we consider that the child from birth through adulthood and beyond, will have to discover ways of communicating and opening to fit the time evolution. What counted as a newborn, is no longer valid for two years and it was worth two is not worth three or four. It's very hard
rid of those resources that have given us so much that we have been so helpful to "talk" among us, know, understand and respond. I say "us" because it not only work to the child kidnappings, but also to parents who often feel they "betray" something very profound when you show the little new code and, in a sense, inaugurated a new book with blank pages for everyone. Being a parent is to write together. Violeta
Alcocer.
Illustration: Eva Vazquez.
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