About two years children are going through a particularly sensitive time in their lives. It has been called "the terrible twos" or "early adolescence" because it represents the first major change, the first major transformation in the lives of our children.
The first manifestations of this point is clear: tantrums (this is the most typical), indecision, ambivalence (I want this, I want it now, now), need constant pampering and closeness or otherwise (or touch me I do not hurt me, etc. ..), aggression, mood swings, sleep, appetite ...
control and the maturation of internalizing emotions and limits are the workhorses of this phase.
From the point of view of development, about two years comes a very important discovery for the child who is the "I" , Ie the ability to see and understand yourself as a person other than the mother.
This discovery carries with it great emotions (I can do it all alone! I like the world, etc. ..) but also great anxiety (do not leave me alone, given how scary the world, how frustrating is all, etc. ..). It is as if the small "released" a garment that fits you perfectly still.
On the emotional level, this means that the child will start his "self" emotional. If until now the limit of the emotion was in contention mother from the child now faces the task of beginning to contain emotions himself (so far may not be sufficient to our interest or our empathy).
Alongside this process, cognitive level takes place in this stage, the birth and consolidation of the symbolic capacity, which is deeply linked to the development of language and formal thought. Thus, our small change radically the way they "think", ie to develop the events that occur both outside and within. The availability of language and symbolic function, little will be able to organize their thinking (and with it their desires, their criteria, establishing causal relationships between events, find similarities and differences, etc. ..).
At this point begins to have access to some tools more sophisticated cognitive and through this have access to increasingly complex learning.
However, all this progress (the birth of self, access to the symbolic function, language, thought ..) does not happen overnight or all at once. The small forward in fits and starts and mismatches are part of the process. Mismatches that are experienced in its most striking in the tantrums: when the little "patina" in emotional control and lose control at all levels.
If before it was through the mother, from this moment will himself who will have to locate or gradually generate their own internal resources to manage anger, anger, frustration, aggression ... adaptively.
As the development does not happen overnight, basically what are the tantrums is a tremendous mismatch between the new capabilities with emotional material that the child has to manage with the limited resources still available.
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