Sara Jay She Is Married With

Uses and abuses of the cart.

Throughout history, families around the world have managed to carry their children with them while they could not walk by themselves. Shoulder bags, scarves, shawls mei-tais and props were part of many peoples popular.

late nineteenth century, Europe became fashionable among the gentry an invention, the cradle with handle and wheels, that within a few years became popular among the common people and middle twentieth century had become a "must" for every family that claims to be. During the twentieth century the invention was perfected and from the 80's and until today, the industry of "buggy" has experienced a rapid advance.

is currently virtually impossible to find a family with young children who do not have a buggy. And makes sense, because it is true that the role of the picture covers a relatively satisfying the need shared by babies and parents to travel together.

However ... the crib we now have wheels strollers for all ages, far exceeding even the age at which children can walk (which is about a year and a half, two years) or start to walk some distance (about three years).

Obviously cart industry will always try to offer as models adapted to higher ages as sales allow. And to sell, this same industry is going to somehow try to inoculate their customers 'need' to have a car for several years. In fact, manufacturers of cars, from my point of view, have achieved their goals by far: the Children do not need to use a cart beyond the two and half years, yet many use them until they are four (or more).

But the responsibility for this event are not only manufacturers of trolleys. They simply took advantage of the power of the new era, in which children should not go into the arms of their parents, have to sit still when they should and have to be on time everywhere.

So the picture, beyond its original function and great vehicle "temporary" is fulfilling in our society some added features and not so great:

For example, while the baby is in the cart during a shift, has no excuse for being caught in the arms ("can not be tired, if you're in the car "). On the other hand, if necessary, be used to immobilize harnesses enough to not take the hand to the bread during a meal, the tantrum without kicking or quietito keep watching TV and not the can. And of course, we got in the car to get from home to school (for three or four years now ..) because we immortalized walking .. and we must be on time.

And a host of "uses" completely unfair and, in my opinion, directly threaten emotional and motor development, healthy and normal.

Admittedly, it is infinitely easier to use a cart when out walking with their children two or three years, we left home, we arrived at the park, play a while, I got in the car and back home. Along the way, also we can talk on the phone (or your partner) a bit, or think of our stuff.

We avoid having to run behind the child every two to three did not know what a red light. We avoid having to go stop at every window, every pebble of the way, each tile. We avoid having to take her in his arms for a while because he has tired. We avoid falls, trips, to watch over their safety.

We avoid, in the end, the child can discover the world through movement and control her own body. Who comes to smell the flowers, to touch or look closely at something you like. Exercising free will to walk, hop on one leg or around obstacles ... learn to be autonomous, independent, to exercise your muscles, calories spent, that moves, that is the biped is and become strong, capable of traveling itself more and more distance on their own feet.

Adults manufacture easygoing easygoing children, dependents, still, castrated in the exercise of their desires and they see the world from a chair. How can you wonder that later (and not much later, eye) is seeking a seat which is no longer move except to turn on or turn off the TV?

really saddens me to see older children in their carts, tied or just parked there as invalid or grandparents in their chairs. It saddens me to see babies crying in their cribs with wheels without anyone touching them.

I love, however, to see families strolling hand in hand with the small shoulder, the other running around in circles around the mother, talking to each other, playing and sharing a good ride. I like children on the knees of their parents in a gathering of friends around a snack, sharing, playing near the biggest or learning to sit at the table with some "manners" and share a meal. I like the parents who are able to charge their older children for three minutes while need to rest their little legs and receiving, by the way, a good hug.

And I like very much the children who rebel in their cars and begging to let them walk .

Violeta Alcocer.

Sculpture: Peter Monk

Watching Hantai Online

The Swan and the Ugly Duckling are the same person. The fall of narcissism.

usually small growing in an environment of understanding, respect and sanity than the transition from "baby" to "children" with a high opinion of themselves.

have incorporated all messages that both Mom and Dad we have endeavored to convey as the base fabric of the ideology of their own: you are great, you are worth much, you're so smart, how well you draw, I love your smile many more adjectives that their parents love we have repeated and repeated with the intention that they be clear: children You are wonderful!

And while the environment has not always been consistent with this view as optimistic (it is possible that a child has already been charged with insulting or that the tutor does not see it his best side), the fact is that until now the impact of social approval was not important enough for the image of themselves will see explicitly undermined in any way.

However, time passes. And our little daffodil lands, a good day in the real world. In a world that does not always return a nice image of yourself and there will always be people adults or children who do not see him not so handsome, nor so ready, or as lovely as you are at home your family and closest friends. Children who do not make them your thanks grace. Children show how ugly it is ridiculous that shirt or your hair cut. Or your face.

Obviously, all these negative reflections coexist with the usual loving glances, which are always there.

But something changes.

Somehow our son no longer sees only his own reflection in the pond gold to start watching, too, the image of himself that he returned others. His reflection in the mirror of the other ... sometimes friendly and others, so ugly, almost unrecognizable.

The fall of narcissism is a turning point in the development, as it requires an intelligent control by those who want to help our children grow.

Firstly because we are the first we have to accept that the world will be people who do not value our son or our family, as we do. And give the child naturally. In fact, it is even possible that some of these criticisms, or eyes tougher "have some truth" ... or at least can be the other side of the coin of one of its many virtues (being a heavy and have perseverance are the same thing seen from different angles, for example).

Our job is to help our children to integrate all eyes and develop a smart approach to rebuild his image as a function not only of what he thinks and knows itself, but also what projects and give back to others. And learn to distinguish worthwhile reflections of those who do not: accept negative feedback can be an invitation to grow and learn more of ourselves ... or may be a poisoned dart to contaminate the confidence in our worth.

is possible for persons to which our son does not matter (some guys he just met at the park, some older girls who have just set eyes on it ..), make a comments given at one point: "Look at this panoli how he gives the ball." And our son can hear and feel hurt, is in question, becoming entangled in the sense of having been assaulted in the innermost ( because in reality, the sight of father and mother to that directly contradicts this review) and feel unable to metabolize a situation that undoubtedly will be repeated countless times throughout his life.

In fact, words are just that, words. The important thing is the real intention that those words were spoken and by whom they were said. Do these people know our son? Do you know anything about him, talents, interests, feelings or difficulties? If the answer to the above questions is "no", so we have to teach our son is not to assess the harmful words of those who value us not to us.

If the owners of these words do not have cared that they impact have had in his heart ... why would it matter to him those words?

However, negative evaluations may bring a healthy self-awareness, there is no reason to reject systematically all the words that go against the good idea we have of ourselves. The exercise of self-criticism need not frighten us: can we always want to be the star? Is it true that sometimes it is vain? "Fatal given score in the basket?.

People are not perfect and our children are no exception. But the fact of not being perfect does not mean that we are worthy of being loved and of course, respected and accepted, even with our limitations or shortcomings. And we, in return for this respect and that love, we must strive to improve.

all need one another to tell us how wonderful we are and, while we point out our faults. We all need someone to push our daffodil to water and remind us that besides ugly ducklings are swans.

In fact, on a non-self-esteem is one that consists only of good ideas about ourselves: is the integrating our capabilities and our limitations so that the others do not prevent shine nails.

And now we come to the backbone of the question, as always, is closely linked to the exercise of parenting and teaching style that we practice in our home.

Parents Are we able to live with views different from ours? Do we accept that our partner we question in some way? "Allow our children to point out our failings as a parent? Are we aware of our faults and our virtues? And finally, Do we choose our critics?

Violeta Alcocer.

Illustration: Alex Doukkala.

Why Women Headscissors

Deaf Ears ...

Street's silence was broken only by the distant sound of a passing car and the noise of air conditioners had been running all day. It was nearly two o'clock and the heat was still unbearable. Not a drop of air to come out for a little respite from the sweaty bodies that night trying to sleep without much success.

Tired of tossing and turning in bed was the bathroom to cool off a bit, got wet your wrists and put his head under the tap until it is soaked hair. Something more relieved stepped onto the balcony to smoke a cigarette, lit it with a deep puff to try to ease their anxiety.

was the middle of August and as in all cities are coastal hot was not much free parking everywhere and hardly any car running. The street was deserted but for the cyclical change in color of traffic lights the world seemed to be stopped.

A man and woman came in a car stopped at traffic lights opposite. She rushed out, slamming the door and the man soon after her yelling out.

- Where do you think you're going, bitch? Back in the car! "Let me
in peace, you're drunk!
- I said come on, pussy! - She said shaking her arm forcefully. While the smoker

watched the couple from the balcony, she escaped the man as he could and tried to hide behind a car that was parked.

"It's the best, we can not continue.
- You're crazy if you think I'm going to give you a divorce and left with nothing!
"You have loved me no never.
- You're not rid of me so easily!
- Do not take it anymore!
-, shut the fuck up! Or get in the car or I'm going up, choose!, But it will be worse to be me ... - Uttered the man made a fiend.

The woman, driven by fear to carry out its warning, again approached him.

"Relax, we are looking from the terrace.
- I do not give a crap we watch. If you have guts to come down and watch me closely! - Shouted facing balcony, while the smoker, undeterred, was still leaning.
"For heaven's sake, shut up and stop screaming!
-Chillaré if I feel like it, do you hear? You're not one to give me orders, which will be clear! That is the last time! "He said giving him a blow so strong that knocked her down, he let knuckles marked on the cheek and opened a slit in the lip that he quickly began to drip blood.

The wife began to mourn: he knew how to end the discussions that started from a punch ... Did not feel strong enough to stand up to her husband once and for all, so without question, got up from the ground and, fearful that her husband's anger grew even more, back into the car.

The smoker, who hurried the last puffs of his cigar, watching the scene as one looks through the window rain. Took a last puff and returned to his room ...

"and we women continue to die in silence"

(Tino Tovar).

Dedicated to all women

suffering abuse.

Enough!